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Not Ready

Please send prayers for this family …

adjustingoursails

I had no idea on Thursday when we checked Matt into the hospital for a neutropenic fever that tonight I would bring my love home to die.  Did Matt and I know he was terminal?  Yes.  Did we think we still had months together, hopefully a couple of years? Yes.

My heart is breaking over and over and over again.  Just when I think I cannot shed another tear, another flood comes pouring out of me.  When I look at his face, the face that has loved me through so much life these last 17 years I am overwhelmed.  I can’t see a future without him in it. I can’t picture a night without him next to me.  Do you know that in 17 years we have spent 4 nights apart?  FOUR.  Our lives are so woven together like a beautiful tapestry that I do not know where I begin…

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