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Walk in Someone Else’s Shoes

Imagine you’ve got an opportunity to try something new, but are nervous about it.  Imagine you’ve got someone, a co-worker, who said they’ve accompany you or help mentor you, to bring you along.  And you’re counting on this person (lets call her Jane) to help you so you don’t have to do it alone.

Now imagine you’ve set a time/date to meet with Jane to go over the particulars, so you could get the lay of the land to help yourself visualize what it is you’ve got to get done — only to realize Jane has forgotten about you and will not be making your meeting.  Now you have to move forward with no direction and have no idea how to do it alone.

What’s your first reaction?  Anger? Disbelief at their lack of reliability?  Or … do you stop and remind yourself that the world is not all about YOU … and this person may have had unusual circumstances that gave them cause to forget or no show?

Now imagine that you’re out grocery shopping, and you see Jane shuffling down the aisle with a sick and aging person next to her side. She’s walking as slow as she can to help what looks to be a loved one down the aisle in one of those motorized carts.  Although you’re still upset with her for leaving you holding the weight of this ‘new project’ and leaving you feeling like you’ve been stranded with it, you know you can’t ignore her.  After all she’s seen you and smiled from across the freezer section.  You lift your arm in greeting, and make your way there.  After all … it’s where you were heading anyway – as you promised you’d pick up a pound of shrimp for your family.

“Hi,”  you offer and say nothing more.  You’re still judging her in your mind for not giving you the support you needed.

“Hi.  How’s the project going?” She sadly smiles.

Here’s where hopefully it dawns on you that she has a lot on her plate, and you can see the bigger picture with Jane and not judge her for the small window or piece of your experience about her that you’ve only seen from work.

“I could use some help.”  You say wondering if you have the right.

“I’m sorry.  I’d fully intended to help you along, but my mother’s health took a turn for the worse.  My father died last year, and she took a fall last week … about the same time you and I were supposed to meet.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Well, I’ve been distracted to say the least.  And I’ve got a lot on my plate … I didn’t want anyone at work to think anything less of my or jump to the conclusion that I couldn’t get it all done .. which is why I delegated that project to you.  I knew I couldn’t take care of her and work that project at the same time.”

________

I’m sure you can imagine the rest of the conversation … Jane is balancing trying to be everything to everyone and something just  had to give.  Unfortunately for you, her exit was bad timing for you and your new responsibilities.  So what’s the bottom line here?

Too many times in life, we put people in categories or stereotype them as flaky or unreliable, when maybe they’re just coping the best they can with the circumstances they’ve been given.  Instead of judging someone or being angry with how they respond (especially if its in a manner which you would ‘never’ respond) – try to look at life through their perspective.  Try give the credit for the unknowns in life.  Maybe their life is full of complications – and your one project or task isn’t the big picture.

This post is about letting our assumptions go of other people.  This post is about thinking better of people.  Instead of jumping to anger – try jumping to empathy.  Put yourself in someone else’s shoes today.  Going forward when someone upsets you – think of what’s going on in their life instead of jumping to anger and judgment. This is something we all could benefit from, myself included. I think the world would be a lot better place if we all changed our filter and took the focus off of ‘our ego’ and centered it on ‘what Christ wants us to see’.

Try it … and let me know what happens.

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Where You’ll Find Me …


For those that stop by from time to time … thank you. For those that are new … welcome.

I’ve not blogged here very often lately, as life has been very busy over the last couple years.  However, I’ve been more consistently writing here at my other blog.

Or if you are a twitter user, you can find me here.

I would still encourage you to stop by here, from time to time.  As I’m contemplating starting it back up, but for now the above links are where you’ll find me.

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Faithful Fridays

This has been an amazing week for the little things…

I’m still somewhat unemployed. I had to leave the restaurant because it started causing some minor health problems, due to my little to no time to actually eat. You’d think working with food I’d get to do that…but no. So I’m in the process of trying to find a part time job that will allow me to work around my son’s school schedule, which has been more than challenging as most PT jobs want you to work nights and weekends. This is not when I can work as I have a child at home.

What’s good about that? Well – I’m completely and utterly reliant on God to 100% provide for us as I look for a PT job. And so far my photography business has given us enough to get by in the last month and a half. Whew! This is a big blessing. And I just got hired for another wedding for this summer. Jobs are consistently rolling in…

The weather has warmed up to reach the 60’s and even 70 today. This has given me spring fever and isn’t it wonderful to have a warm breeze in the middle of winter?

I got to spend some time with both my mom and dad, at separate times, yesterday and thoroughly enjoyed it. I don’t get to see them much anymore, and it was nice just to be in their presence.

I met with a pastor at church this week to go over some ideas for my sequel…as one part of it has a sermon involved in it. I need to know I’m on the right track, and it was a big blessing just to sit and have him impart his wisdom on me.

I got a phone call from the Mayor’s office today. He’s granted me a phone interview to discuss sequel. One of my characters in ‘Finding Kylie’, is Jesse Mikale, who is a former Mayor of OKC…turned economic developer. As I delve into more of his work side in the sequel, I’ll need some input from someone who has lived or is living that role. Who better than Mayor Mick Cornett? His office said his Chief of Staff would most likely be the one to visit with me, but imagine my surprise when they called me on my cell yesterday to say he was taking time to visit with me. I was humbled and grateful.

My son tickles my funny bone every day…there’s just too much to catalogue in his daily stand up. But you can get a glimpse of something here that made laugh till I cried – on Wednesday.

My son’s also very excited about Papa John’s new heart shaped Pizza. This will be an economic way I can give him something nice this year…with something he loves most…PIZZA served with love.papa_johns_heart_shaped_pizza_photo

Last but not least…I’m being blessed daily by comments left by readers of Finding Kylie. I’m blown away at what they’re taking away from it and what is left with them, from reading it. Thank you to all of you who have emailed me or left me comments on my blog.

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Ok I admit it…

I’m an entertainment junkie. One of the last commenters, from my last post, got me thinking. What exactly are my vices?

When I was young and a lot wilder, it was having a good time. Now it’s watching other people doing it on TV. Well…not doing ‘it’. LOL! But watching those, who have a blast whether it’s in reality TV or having a blast perfecting their craft.

From the Bachelor to Grey’s Anatomy I have to DVR it to get my fill.

About a year ago, God started tapping my heart…asking me why I was spending so much time with something that wasn’t glorifying Him. It got me thinking – is it some form of Idol worship when you’re spending time in activity that is not promoting your faith? Just how much time should I be dedicating to sucking my brain dry in front of the boob tube? How can I honestly say to my son, “you can only have so much ‘media’ time”, and limit his video games/computer/movie time…when I don’t put limits on me?

Well about a year ago I started trimming the fat so to speak. I stopped recording some shows on the DVR. Instead of all the ABC soaps, I chose to eliminate one of the three. Now I’m up to one and a half. I say that b/c I really enjoy watching ‘General Hospital’, but ‘One Life to Life’ is getting so old and boring that I fast forward through the whole thing. I still see what happens, but don’t have to hear the same character repeating the same old crap. So, now guess what? I’m not going to record it either and move it to the non watching show category along with ‘All My Children’.

There are a few shows I stopped watching in the evening as well. So I’m doing much better in this category, but I’m sure if I let myself admit it, I could really let go of more. The few I can’t let go of at this point? American Idol (even though the name is gets to me – and not in a good way), Bachelor with Jason/Ty, Greys – because of it’s amazing acting and McSteamy, Burn Notice, and LOST.

What are your vices? Has God talked to you about them and have you started to let go of them?

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Off the grid

Okay so maybe some of you I’ve not posted much lately, as I’ve just not felt like it.

Yes, I’ve been in a slump … spiritually, emotionally, physically, and in every sense of the word.

But through prayer and some reality checks, I’ve come to some really great conclusions.

God has a lot in store for me…some exciting things actually. I just had to wait a little…okay a lot…longer than I’d care to in order to hopefully figure it all out.

I have some important meetings coming up that may provide exactly what I need in so many ways. The desired results from next week’s meeting could be the answer to so many issues in our lives at the moment.

So please put us in your prayers, as a family, and for me as an individual.

I thank you in advance and appreciate you all for allowing me some time away from blogging in the last couple of months.

I look forward to catching up with all of you and informing you of some great news soon!!!!

Love to you all —- Kim

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Where does time go??

Seriously I know time flies, but how does it go at the speed of light? The older you get the faster it goes, they say. Who’s ‘they’ by the way?? Well whoever ‘they’ are…they’re right.

In July I quit my job to focus on the family, and my new career path…a path that has me working on my own dreams, which did not include working for anyone else. They also do not include getting rich, as when you start your own business … it will take a looooong time to build up.

What’s not taking a long time to build up – is the investment in my child. IF I’d been at my J-O-B, I wouldn’t have had the patience for “you know what? Chicken butt!” … I wouldn’t have time or energy to stop to really listen to him…when he starts giggling, in that way he does with a deep gurgling bubbly sweet giggle, if I haven’t really been here to hear it.

I think you all know what I mean when…being here…means being here not just physically, but mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. All these things count when raising a child, and what a fine child I’m discovering. And the stress of Corporate America is not stealing that away from me any longer. How blessed am I to give my son my full attention?

I forgot to post my ‘Faithful Fridays’ this last Friday, but that’s okay b/c I was investing time with my little boy. I’ve been sick and he’s been taking care of me, just like when he’s sick and I take care of him. He’s been patiently sitting on the couch with me talking with me, or watching a movie. He’s been attentive and kind.

Yes, time may be flying very very fast right now…but I’m not missing a thing! And I am thanking God for every second of it!

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Celebrate and Respect the Veterans of America

08posterVeteran’s Day holds so much meaning for me. Having a family member serve is an honor, like no other. To see my father serve and protect, I truly know the hell he’s gone through to provide for not just his family … but his country.

John McCain said it best — Country first.

Most Americans forget the blood, sweat, and tears shed to protect their rights to bad mouth other Americans, to bad mouth the wars and policies, to bad mouth different races.

Today I ask you to put that all aside, if you’re one of those Americans. Put aside your anger for whatever has gone wrong in your idea of a perfect America.

America isn’t perfect … but the soldier’s willing to die to protect it DESERVE your respect. Today call someone you know, who’s served, to thank them.

And Dad…thank you for always putting your country and family first. I appreciate your hard work and life threatening duties you served in. Semper Fi!