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Walk in Someone Else’s Shoes

Imagine you’ve got an opportunity to try something new, but are nervous about it.  Imagine you’ve got someone, a co-worker, who said they’ve accompany you or help mentor you, to bring you along.  And you’re counting on this person (lets call her Jane) to help you so you don’t have to do it alone.

Now imagine you’ve set a time/date to meet with Jane to go over the particulars, so you could get the lay of the land to help yourself visualize what it is you’ve got to get done — only to realize Jane has forgotten about you and will not be making your meeting.  Now you have to move forward with no direction and have no idea how to do it alone.

What’s your first reaction?  Anger? Disbelief at their lack of reliability?  Or … do you stop and remind yourself that the world is not all about YOU … and this person may have had unusual circumstances that gave them cause to forget or no show?

Now imagine that you’re out grocery shopping, and you see Jane shuffling down the aisle with a sick and aging person next to her side. She’s walking as slow as she can to help what looks to be a loved one down the aisle in one of those motorized carts.  Although you’re still upset with her for leaving you holding the weight of this ‘new project’ and leaving you feeling like you’ve been stranded with it, you know you can’t ignore her.  After all she’s seen you and smiled from across the freezer section.  You lift your arm in greeting, and make your way there.  After all … it’s where you were heading anyway – as you promised you’d pick up a pound of shrimp for your family.

“Hi,”  you offer and say nothing more.  You’re still judging her in your mind for not giving you the support you needed.

“Hi.  How’s the project going?” She sadly smiles.

Here’s where hopefully it dawns on you that she has a lot on her plate, and you can see the bigger picture with Jane and not judge her for the small window or piece of your experience about her that you’ve only seen from work.

“I could use some help.”  You say wondering if you have the right.

“I’m sorry.  I’d fully intended to help you along, but my mother’s health took a turn for the worse.  My father died last year, and she took a fall last week … about the same time you and I were supposed to meet.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Well, I’ve been distracted to say the least.  And I’ve got a lot on my plate … I didn’t want anyone at work to think anything less of my or jump to the conclusion that I couldn’t get it all done .. which is why I delegated that project to you.  I knew I couldn’t take care of her and work that project at the same time.”

________

I’m sure you can imagine the rest of the conversation … Jane is balancing trying to be everything to everyone and something just  had to give.  Unfortunately for you, her exit was bad timing for you and your new responsibilities.  So what’s the bottom line here?

Too many times in life, we put people in categories or stereotype them as flaky or unreliable, when maybe they’re just coping the best they can with the circumstances they’ve been given.  Instead of judging someone or being angry with how they respond (especially if its in a manner which you would ‘never’ respond) – try to look at life through their perspective.  Try give the credit for the unknowns in life.  Maybe their life is full of complications – and your one project or task isn’t the big picture.

This post is about letting our assumptions go of other people.  This post is about thinking better of people.  Instead of jumping to anger – try jumping to empathy.  Put yourself in someone else’s shoes today.  Going forward when someone upsets you – think of what’s going on in their life instead of jumping to anger and judgment. This is something we all could benefit from, myself included. I think the world would be a lot better place if we all changed our filter and took the focus off of ‘our ego’ and centered it on ‘what Christ wants us to see’.

Try it … and let me know what happens.

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My little sponge

I swear I never know what will come out of my son’s mouth these days.  It continues to amaze me just HOW much he soaks up and retains.  

For example, when the election took place, I was amazed at his emphatic passion for what was going on around him.  I try to never talk politics, as many out there do enough of it already for the majority of us.  I may put a little blurb on a blog here or there, but I’m not one of those people, who are loud with their policies/political beliefs.  

I especially did not tell my son who I felt would make a better President in this last election, as how could anyone know that or see the future?  I did tell him who I was voting for, because  he asked me, but would never run down the other candidate, as that’s not how I’m made.  PLUS why impose that on a five year old.  What I did give him was knowledge on the electoral process, and what the voting process looked like.  This was back in August of 2008 when he was asking about the whole concept of voting and how/why it worked.  If he’s old enough to ask, he’s old enough for the truth.

As the election came closer, he heard from his classmates their input on each candidate.  They even had a mock election, giving them choices to vote for Red or Blue.  Red, which stood for McCain, won that day in school.  He was excited that he chose the color that won.  I congratulated him on voting and left it at that, because it’s about his power to choose!  I was proud of him.

When Obama won the office of President, my son was sad.  The parents ideals and their philosophies had filtered down to their children and gave my son the impression that Obama equalled bad.  And he knew his parents had voted for McCain too.  I had to express to him that we respected the office of the President, no matter WHO held the office.  I had to share with him, that even though mommy didn’t vote for Obama, I was excited for the new era whether it was my choice candidate or not.  I told him that the exciting part about it is was the power of the American people, and their votes.

I wanted to give him hope that President Obama would make good choices on our behalf.  That’s my job as a parent to instill hope in my child … to lighten the big stuff … to keep him from being overwhelmed with things that he can not control.

His response?  (Keep in mind, he tells people he’s 4 and 3 quarters old when they ask his age – he’s a very specific kid)

“Mom, it doesn’t matter…because when I’m 9 and 3 quarters, we’ll vote again and have another President.”

I couldn’t believe that my ‘every four years we have an election‘ talk, FROM AUGUST was still retained in that little sponge of a brain in November.  

With my son, I tried to stay in the middle on this whole topic, because I don’t want to encourage discrimination for either party – Rep or Dem – because my husband and I aren’t straight party Repubs.  We look at each candidate as a potential selection based on their own policies and performance in office. BUT I let his comment stand on it’s own, because it was his opinion and I respected that.  I respect him for trying to formulate his own ideas and sticking to his guns.  For 5 almost 6 (5.75), he thinks so many big things through!! 

Today when my husband called to check on him, as we’re both home sick.  He ended his conversation with my DH….”Okay dad, work smart!”

I could tell my husband wasn’t sure of what he said, b/c he had to repeat himself….”you know…work smart while you’re there to make your money”  He’s a funny little kid with a big man’s mind.

I can’t believe in 9 short days, I’m going to have a 6 year old on my hands.  A wonderfully created, ingenius and funny, creative and highly social child, who loves with all his heart.  I only worry that he loves too much, BUT there’s no such thing as loving too much.

Have a great day all and thank God for all your blessings….especially your children!

 

Kim

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Where does time go??

Seriously I know time flies, but how does it go at the speed of light? The older you get the faster it goes, they say. Who’s ‘they’ by the way?? Well whoever ‘they’ are…they’re right.

In July I quit my job to focus on the family, and my new career path…a path that has me working on my own dreams, which did not include working for anyone else. They also do not include getting rich, as when you start your own business … it will take a looooong time to build up.

What’s not taking a long time to build up – is the investment in my child. IF I’d been at my J-O-B, I wouldn’t have had the patience for “you know what? Chicken butt!” … I wouldn’t have time or energy to stop to really listen to him…when he starts giggling, in that way he does with a deep gurgling bubbly sweet giggle, if I haven’t really been here to hear it.

I think you all know what I mean when…being here…means being here not just physically, but mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. All these things count when raising a child, and what a fine child I’m discovering. And the stress of Corporate America is not stealing that away from me any longer. How blessed am I to give my son my full attention?

I forgot to post my ‘Faithful Fridays’ this last Friday, but that’s okay b/c I was investing time with my little boy. I’ve been sick and he’s been taking care of me, just like when he’s sick and I take care of him. He’s been patiently sitting on the couch with me talking with me, or watching a movie. He’s been attentive and kind.

Yes, time may be flying very very fast right now…but I’m not missing a thing! And I am thanking God for every second of it!

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Friday Blessings

This week was a crazy one. Last week I posted that my clothes dryer broke and the fact we got another one free within a day. Then this week our garage door broke and my hair dryer went short of catching on fire.

Well my father knows a great company, who fixed my door and he’s basically calling it my Christmas gift. Thank you God for wonderful people who come in the time of need.

I made enough tips yesterday at work to buy a new hair dryer. I got sat with a big top, which has gratuity automatically added and then they all left me extra money as a tip. It was an awesome feeling just to walk into Target and know I wouldn’t have to stress on how to pay for for what I needed.

My husband and I decided that I should work at the restaurant at nights to make more $$$, which will be a bonus blessing just in time for Christmas. This leaves my days open to substitute teach.

My rankings on Amazon have been really good considering my book hasn’t been out but a month. It’s so excited to me to watch the numbers climb, recede, and then climb again. I pray that God continues to bless this books path and the success it deserves.
I shipped it to a buddy of mine in London, who owns a production company. I’m sure my book won’t be his cup of tea, as he’s more of a Martin Scorses type of guy, and my book is more geared for the Lifetime Movie Network or Hallmark, but hey I’m just blessed to have a friend in the business who supports me and wants to read my work. I shipped the book out this week, so time will tell if he and his lovely wife at least enjoy the read.

I’ve have two photo-shoots this week, and scheduled a wedding for the end of the month. God has been very faithful in keeping me busy this holiday season with family photos. It’s a huge blessing as we really need it right now.

My husband thought his car was towed last night, or stolen…but alas he’s decided he just going senile as his car was only 100 yards away from where he ‘thought’ he parked. This blessing is obvious — the fact that I had a good laugh on my husband was an extra one! On his way out to work this morning I told him not to get lost is his work parking lot. He didn’t think it was too funny — but I did.

Hope you’re all enjoying your Friday. Take a little time to list out your blessings for the week. You’ll be glad you did. And don’t forget to give thanks to God for each and every one!

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Finding Kylie Feedback From the Heart

My friend called me today with this voicemail. At first I thought something was seriously wrong and then I realized she was giving me feed back on the book.
I thought it was too sweet not to post:

Mobile post sent by wornouwoman using Utterlireply-count Replies.  mp3

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Friday’s Blessings

It’s better late than never. I’m pretty sick, but needed to get this up tonight before it rolled into Saturday.

Even though I’m pretty sure I’ve got the flu, the big blessing is I’ve not thrown up. Praise the Lord. And I came down with it early enough, that I didn’t expose most of my family to it. It’s my mom’s birthday today, and I’m missing her party (while my son and husband are there without me). However, no one wants to be around a sick person. I’m blessed I could spare them the germs.

My launch party was a blast. I’m blessed by everyone that attended. I had some last minute cancellations but that is to be expected. All in all, we had the perfect amount. I sold over 54 books. I would have sold them all if everyone came that said they would, but like I said everyone that was there were the ones who really wanted to be. And that’s a huge blessing! Especially when some of them drove for over 4 hours to come in town. My friends and family are the most amazing supportive people, and I’m so blown away at their love for me. You can see some of the cute stuff that happened last night with my son –> HERE.

The weather has been amazing. It’s just now getting cold. Our foliage is just now turning golden brown and red. My flowers are still just amazing…most of them. I’m blessed when I see snow in parts of the country and know we’re just now getting into the 50’s.

I’ve had 3 photo-shoots in the last week and a half. Some referrals have come in and I’m blessed that my previous clients loved their pics so much that they’re spreading the word. More business means I can continue to take care of my family.

That’s it folks…I know that there are many more blessings to list — but I’m getting chilled and might throw up. So I’m going to go lay down now. Have a wonderful weekend!