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Walk in Someone Else’s Shoes

Imagine you’ve got an opportunity to try something new, but are nervous about it.  Imagine you’ve got someone, a co-worker, who said they’ve accompany you or help mentor you, to bring you along.  And you’re counting on this person (lets call her Jane) to help you so you don’t have to do it alone.

Now imagine you’ve set a time/date to meet with Jane to go over the particulars, so you could get the lay of the land to help yourself visualize what it is you’ve got to get done — only to realize Jane has forgotten about you and will not be making your meeting.  Now you have to move forward with no direction and have no idea how to do it alone.

What’s your first reaction?  Anger? Disbelief at their lack of reliability?  Or … do you stop and remind yourself that the world is not all about YOU … and this person may have had unusual circumstances that gave them cause to forget or no show?

Now imagine that you’re out grocery shopping, and you see Jane shuffling down the aisle with a sick and aging person next to her side. She’s walking as slow as she can to help what looks to be a loved one down the aisle in one of those motorized carts.  Although you’re still upset with her for leaving you holding the weight of this ‘new project’ and leaving you feeling like you’ve been stranded with it, you know you can’t ignore her.  After all she’s seen you and smiled from across the freezer section.  You lift your arm in greeting, and make your way there.  After all … it’s where you were heading anyway – as you promised you’d pick up a pound of shrimp for your family.

“Hi,”  you offer and say nothing more.  You’re still judging her in your mind for not giving you the support you needed.

“Hi.  How’s the project going?” She sadly smiles.

Here’s where hopefully it dawns on you that she has a lot on her plate, and you can see the bigger picture with Jane and not judge her for the small window or piece of your experience about her that you’ve only seen from work.

“I could use some help.”  You say wondering if you have the right.

“I’m sorry.  I’d fully intended to help you along, but my mother’s health took a turn for the worse.  My father died last year, and she took a fall last week … about the same time you and I were supposed to meet.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Well, I’ve been distracted to say the least.  And I’ve got a lot on my plate … I didn’t want anyone at work to think anything less of my or jump to the conclusion that I couldn’t get it all done .. which is why I delegated that project to you.  I knew I couldn’t take care of her and work that project at the same time.”

________

I’m sure you can imagine the rest of the conversation … Jane is balancing trying to be everything to everyone and something just  had to give.  Unfortunately for you, her exit was bad timing for you and your new responsibilities.  So what’s the bottom line here?

Too many times in life, we put people in categories or stereotype them as flaky or unreliable, when maybe they’re just coping the best they can with the circumstances they’ve been given.  Instead of judging someone or being angry with how they respond (especially if its in a manner which you would ‘never’ respond) – try to look at life through their perspective.  Try give the credit for the unknowns in life.  Maybe their life is full of complications – and your one project or task isn’t the big picture.

This post is about letting our assumptions go of other people.  This post is about thinking better of people.  Instead of jumping to anger – try jumping to empathy.  Put yourself in someone else’s shoes today.  Going forward when someone upsets you – think of what’s going on in their life instead of jumping to anger and judgment. This is something we all could benefit from, myself included. I think the world would be a lot better place if we all changed our filter and took the focus off of ‘our ego’ and centered it on ‘what Christ wants us to see’.

Try it … and let me know what happens.

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Friday finds me allll gooood!

Thought I’d pop in here to post for once. I’ve not been able to just sit for a while and have a single thought to myself let alone have the time to do anything about them.

In the last 3 months, my life has turned upside down … but in a good way. You all know I’ve had to work a part time job to help contribute to our family’s finances. Smart girl that I was decided to up and quit a full time career in July of last year – right before the big recession hits. So my family, that was used to doing a little of whatever they wanted, while still feeling like we had no money … didn’t know what was going to hit.

We had enough to get by then – we just didn’t know it!

No we’re on a skimmed budget and running a tight ship. We refinanced our home, which saved us $150 a month.

I still have my own photography company, which is picking up by the way, and I still further my writing pursuits – but I’m working part time as a manager at a women’s boutique. This is why I’ve not had time to sit as I’m gone all the time, between photography shoots or my part time job. I’m never home to just have a second to myself. I haven’t even watched TV in almost a month (except ‘The Bachelorette’, which I DVR and watch late at night).

The good news? We’re making it – barely but surely.
The bad news? I’m not running on my own schedule and I have nothing left over to write – which means my sequel is taking a loooot longer than I’d hoped.

BUT – counting my blessings is still a must.

For example – Yesterday my brand new tire blew out on the highway. Not even seconds before I heard it pop, I was praying for God’s protection on the roads. It was as if the Holy Spirit was guiding me or prompting me to pray that particular prayer. Within seconds, the wall of my new tire was blown off and I was trying to get off the side of the highway.

The blessings are obvious to me. I’m thankful my car didn’t flip or slam into traffic. Two police officers showed up before my husband did to protect my car from the traffic from the highway. Because of these brave men, my husband had the protection he needed to change my tire. Otherwise traffic wouldn’t have allowed him to get down and change it without risking his life.

2 service men showed up from my dealership too. I’m blessed that we know the owner and he’s a gracious man, who takes care of us.

PLUS – I was late to work to close my store. WHICH was a HUGE blessing, as my district manager was in town and my tire escapade caused me to miss her visit. Hmmm? I don’t see a downside to this one.

Just wanted to pop in real quick to let you know that life is good! Even if I have to pay for a new tire – I’m healthy and in one piece. Can’t ask for more than that and I’m thankful to God for answering prayer!

Have a great weekend you all!
Kim

Here’s an example from one of my latest shoots this month. Westmoreland Ministries asked me to work with them for their upcoming tour. KP is a great guy, who has a true heart for God. Pray for him as he targets college campuses with the reality of his testimony.
Westmoreland Ministries

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My little sponge

I swear I never know what will come out of my son’s mouth these days.  It continues to amaze me just HOW much he soaks up and retains.  

For example, when the election took place, I was amazed at his emphatic passion for what was going on around him.  I try to never talk politics, as many out there do enough of it already for the majority of us.  I may put a little blurb on a blog here or there, but I’m not one of those people, who are loud with their policies/political beliefs.  

I especially did not tell my son who I felt would make a better President in this last election, as how could anyone know that or see the future?  I did tell him who I was voting for, because  he asked me, but would never run down the other candidate, as that’s not how I’m made.  PLUS why impose that on a five year old.  What I did give him was knowledge on the electoral process, and what the voting process looked like.  This was back in August of 2008 when he was asking about the whole concept of voting and how/why it worked.  If he’s old enough to ask, he’s old enough for the truth.

As the election came closer, he heard from his classmates their input on each candidate.  They even had a mock election, giving them choices to vote for Red or Blue.  Red, which stood for McCain, won that day in school.  He was excited that he chose the color that won.  I congratulated him on voting and left it at that, because it’s about his power to choose!  I was proud of him.

When Obama won the office of President, my son was sad.  The parents ideals and their philosophies had filtered down to their children and gave my son the impression that Obama equalled bad.  And he knew his parents had voted for McCain too.  I had to express to him that we respected the office of the President, no matter WHO held the office.  I had to share with him, that even though mommy didn’t vote for Obama, I was excited for the new era whether it was my choice candidate or not.  I told him that the exciting part about it is was the power of the American people, and their votes.

I wanted to give him hope that President Obama would make good choices on our behalf.  That’s my job as a parent to instill hope in my child … to lighten the big stuff … to keep him from being overwhelmed with things that he can not control.

His response?  (Keep in mind, he tells people he’s 4 and 3 quarters old when they ask his age – he’s a very specific kid)

“Mom, it doesn’t matter…because when I’m 9 and 3 quarters, we’ll vote again and have another President.”

I couldn’t believe that my ‘every four years we have an election‘ talk, FROM AUGUST was still retained in that little sponge of a brain in November.  

With my son, I tried to stay in the middle on this whole topic, because I don’t want to encourage discrimination for either party – Rep or Dem – because my husband and I aren’t straight party Repubs.  We look at each candidate as a potential selection based on their own policies and performance in office. BUT I let his comment stand on it’s own, because it was his opinion and I respected that.  I respect him for trying to formulate his own ideas and sticking to his guns.  For 5 almost 6 (5.75), he thinks so many big things through!! 

Today when my husband called to check on him, as we’re both home sick.  He ended his conversation with my DH….”Okay dad, work smart!”

I could tell my husband wasn’t sure of what he said, b/c he had to repeat himself….”you know…work smart while you’re there to make your money”  He’s a funny little kid with a big man’s mind.

I can’t believe in 9 short days, I’m going to have a 6 year old on my hands.  A wonderfully created, ingenius and funny, creative and highly social child, who loves with all his heart.  I only worry that he loves too much, BUT there’s no such thing as loving too much.

Have a great day all and thank God for all your blessings….especially your children!

 

Kim

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Palin’s Perfect Delivery

I try to stay away from politics here as it’s so overused and underwhelming in blog land. I get bored by the arguments for this side or this issue. However I must say that Palin delivered a very cadid and amazing speech last night.

The issues were oil, prosperity, taxes, and less reliance on the government. A smaller government and a larger people! The Democrats say the Republicans didn’t mention the middle class or health care. BUT if they’d listened they would have heard the message of prosperity to the small business owners and workers…are those not the middle class? They would have heard a message to parents with the hope of taking care of their families in every manner…insurance, health, and financial. Even though the words insurance or health care weren’t tossed around like potato’s…the message was clear.

Palin’s efforts to use the words ‘community’ and ‘coordinator’ cracked me up, as we all know, Democrats and Republicans alike, that her experience and record is more impressive than Obama’s on her own. She’s got more experience than Biden and Obama put together, and her track record for ‘actually’ cutting taxes and working ‘for the people’ is an amazing one. And this is just the VP nominee…

You all know I’m a military brat and hold vets, who’ve served, in high regard. So when I look at the candidates for President I can’t help but sway toward McCain. Not just because of his leadership skills, decisions in tough times, and heart for his country…but because of his resolve. I’m sorry…but any man who was a P.O.W. for five years and brutally tortured earns my respect as a leader for our nation.

He was beaten daily. Had both arms broken, which is why he can’t lift them well today. He was taunted with the option to go home, if he only broke…caved in….and gave his captors what they wanted.

They’d give him his freedom for mere words against his country and countrymen. McCain SAID NO!

I don’t know how many men would be that strong. And when I think of Obama in the same scenario fighting for his life to protect his country…I don’t think we’d be his first priority. I think he would be his own first priority.

I think Obama is an impressive man, raising from no where to be where he’s at but the simple truth is that HE HAS NO EXPERIENCE TO RUN OUR COUNTRY. And he flip flops so much I wonder if our country would be well served in his hands.

I did not mean to leave this on my blog, and I’m sure most will love to argue with me. So I apologize in advance for going where I never do…politics. I just think that Palin’s speech was extremely inspiring and exciting. I feel this team is the one that will bring change.

There were many good lines from last night one of them going a little like this:
‘There are those that will use change to strengthen their careers…then there are those that will use their career to strengthen change!’

Party ties aside….because I’m not straight party. If there were a Democrat in office I could be proud of…I would. I’m wanting to know your view on this saying above, and which of the two do you think falls into either category?

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Fridays Are My Favorites because….

On Fridays I get to reflect on how much God has done for me in the week and give thanks. This week has been one of healing and thankfulness all across the board.

*Today at 3 p.m. I was able to see my son win a “Kindness” award. This award is given out once a month and he and one other Kindergartener won it for their age group. What a huge blessing to see my son be singled out for the first month of school for his kind spirit and giving heart. He was so excited and happy. He told me that he tried his hardest these last two weeks of school to be as kind as he could. I love that about him. He truly cares about others and how they feel.

*I started my new job and have had the most fun that I can remember in years. I don’t have clients calling my cell complaining. I don’t have sales managers calling me into meetings that are about other meetings and how the other meetings will be scheduled….to go over what the last meeting held. I only have to serve tables with a smile and hope they’ll tip in kind. It’s so refreshing to work with the group I do, as no one is uptight. I’m blessed!

*I’ve been aiding my sister in coordinating her wedding. She got engaged a couple weeks ago and she gets married on Sept 12. She had a very unpleasant caterer scheduled that did nothing to accommodate her. So I found her a new one, scheduled a tasting, and they were less expensive. She canceled her uncooperative one and hired the second I found her. I’m blessed that I’ve been able to find her less expensive, better solutions. Anything I can do to make her day easy will be a huge blessing to our whole family.

*I had an old man pull me aside at the restaurant day before yesterday and compliment me. He said, “Honey, you sure are a good waitress….how long have you been doing this?” When I told him -2 days- he was amazed. He told me, “Well your smile means a lot, and you can tell you care. You’re doing a great job.” That made my day.

*My son had show in tell this week. He was supposed to bring in something that made you feel happy, sad, warm…something old and something more precious than gold. He filled it full until the last one… he turned to me and said, “Mommy….you’re more precious than gold to me, but I can’t box you up.” That made me melt in happiness. What a blessing my son is to me.

*I got asked to be a part of my University’s Homecoming Celebration at their big book signing event, along with 14 other alumni authors. I think I’m the youngest one attending. It is a HUGE honor to be invited, and I’m so blessed and thankful.

*Because I’ve been on my feet all week and working my hiney off…I’ve slept realllly good, which is rare as I have 3 sleep disorders. BIG BLESSING!

Fridays are great. Not only because I have the weekend to look forward to, but because I can look back and count so many obvious blessings. Thank you Lord for all you do.

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Fridays are Full of Blessings 5-9-08

I love to get to a Friday and post all those things that gave me peace through God’s blessings for the week. This week I’ve felt God’s hands on me more than ever before.

Here are a few major blessings:

*At noon today my husband was offered a job that was made for him. God brought him the most tailor made environment, boss, and position than any other out there. He got hired on for the exact number we needed for our family budget, and the benefits will be enough to take care of our needs.
PRAISE GOD!

*My mom gave me some flats of flowers, so I could fill in my flower beds in the front of my house. My garden is now full of beautiful flowers and expectant bulbs that are waiting to bloom.

*I consolidated two credit cards to one, and the one we closed had a credit balance due to over-payment. Now they’re sending us a check. I opened the mailbox today and received another unexpected check from a doctor’s office for $30.00 of overpayment as well. This comes at a time of emergency needs for just food and gas, and now I don’t have to worry where the money will come from.

*The weather is gorgeous today, and after spending Wednesday in the closet from tornado threats…I’m blessed not to have to worry about storms. Read about it here.

*My son and husband have had so much bonding time this week. It’s been so pleasant to have my husband back to his normal self again, and my son have his daddy back home.

*I got an unexpected account drop in my lap this week. It was one I called on a month ago that I thought wouldn’t sign and had given up on it. This man called me Tuesday wanting to do business with me. Hallelujah I needed that!

*Another friend of mine who knows our situation called me and told me that she TOLD her husband he was going to sign a payroll deal with me. He was opening a new clinic and she didn’t ask him to…she told him he needed to. So that was another unexpected deal to add to my very large goal this month

I don’t know how I’m going to make my numbers this month, but I know God will bless the fruits of my labor. I’m only 15% to my goal and need a whole lot more to make it happen.

I am so at peace this week and so thankful that God has led us through some pretty tough times to some security. Praise your name Lord.

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Blessings Through Chaos

Tuesday I posted about my husband’s job loss, from this Monday, but I decided to take it down.  I figure I’d had enough venting on this blog to last a while.

I think I need to stick to uplifting posts right now. Uplifting others is the reason I started this blog, and I feel I’ve strayed from that slightly as of late.

So…here’s some excellent news for the week. I had been job hunting on the behalf of my husband in the last few weeks….applying for jobs over the internet without my husband even knowing. I knew he didn’t have the time. He was at the office from 8 in the am to sometimes 10 to 11 at night without time for personal time to spend with family, let alone search for new employment.

I felt led last Wednesday to search a local media job site for my hubbie. I applied for 4 or 5 positions for him when I saw a familiar name and company listed. It was a posting of a company that I had worked with through various media accounts. I had worked with the owner and his son, and respected their ethics and philosophies. So instead of emailing the man, who owned this company, with just a cover letter/resume for my husband…I emailed him and asked him to call me.

The next day we chatted about his company’s position and my husband’s abilities. He gave me his cell phone and told me to have my husband call him day or night to set something up. A few days later, over the weekend, the generous man called me and wanted to pass on a message to my husband.

He said he’d been thinking about it and knew confidentiality was a concern for us…so to tell my husband he’d be willing to meet with him over a weekend or any evening the next week.

Wow, what a great gesture. Come Monday, my husband and he finally had a conversation and set up an interview time for 7 that same evening. Not even 3 hours later my husband was fired due to internal politics neatly wrapped up and tied with a bow. Talk about timing.

My husband had such peace about the whole day because he knew God would provide for all our needs. No matter our health insurance will soon be gone. No matter that our financial stability has been tossed to the wind. No matter what WE KNOW God’s hand is upon us.

We could sit and sulk and cry WHY GOD?

Or we could thank Him for closing a door on an impossible situation, where my husband was constantly walking on eggshells for a person, that called himself boss and who didn’t appreciate or take care of him.

My husband has his second interview tomorrow at noon with this company to meet the staff. The owner is incredibly impressed with my husband as he should. I am completely faithful that my husband is walking toward the door our Lord has especially held open for him. I am faithful that God is holding our future gently and securely. I am faithful that our family will be provided for without interruption in pay or medical benefits.

Praise God for all He does…great and small…even in the midst of chaos….especially in the midst of chaos.

Please pray for my husband tomorrow. I am thankful that now he has the time to be a husband and father, as that’s what is most important to him. As it should be.