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Walk in Someone Else’s Shoes

Imagine you’ve got an opportunity to try something new, but are nervous about it.  Imagine you’ve got someone, a co-worker, who said they’ve accompany you or help mentor you, to bring you along.  And you’re counting on this person (lets call her Jane) to help you so you don’t have to do it alone.

Now imagine you’ve set a time/date to meet with Jane to go over the particulars, so you could get the lay of the land to help yourself visualize what it is you’ve got to get done — only to realize Jane has forgotten about you and will not be making your meeting.  Now you have to move forward with no direction and have no idea how to do it alone.

What’s your first reaction?  Anger? Disbelief at their lack of reliability?  Or … do you stop and remind yourself that the world is not all about YOU … and this person may have had unusual circumstances that gave them cause to forget or no show?

Now imagine that you’re out grocery shopping, and you see Jane shuffling down the aisle with a sick and aging person next to her side. She’s walking as slow as she can to help what looks to be a loved one down the aisle in one of those motorized carts.  Although you’re still upset with her for leaving you holding the weight of this ‘new project’ and leaving you feeling like you’ve been stranded with it, you know you can’t ignore her.  After all she’s seen you and smiled from across the freezer section.  You lift your arm in greeting, and make your way there.  After all … it’s where you were heading anyway – as you promised you’d pick up a pound of shrimp for your family.

“Hi,”  you offer and say nothing more.  You’re still judging her in your mind for not giving you the support you needed.

“Hi.  How’s the project going?” She sadly smiles.

Here’s where hopefully it dawns on you that she has a lot on her plate, and you can see the bigger picture with Jane and not judge her for the small window or piece of your experience about her that you’ve only seen from work.

“I could use some help.”  You say wondering if you have the right.

“I’m sorry.  I’d fully intended to help you along, but my mother’s health took a turn for the worse.  My father died last year, and she took a fall last week … about the same time you and I were supposed to meet.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Well, I’ve been distracted to say the least.  And I’ve got a lot on my plate … I didn’t want anyone at work to think anything less of my or jump to the conclusion that I couldn’t get it all done .. which is why I delegated that project to you.  I knew I couldn’t take care of her and work that project at the same time.”

________

I’m sure you can imagine the rest of the conversation … Jane is balancing trying to be everything to everyone and something just  had to give.  Unfortunately for you, her exit was bad timing for you and your new responsibilities.  So what’s the bottom line here?

Too many times in life, we put people in categories or stereotype them as flaky or unreliable, when maybe they’re just coping the best they can with the circumstances they’ve been given.  Instead of judging someone or being angry with how they respond (especially if its in a manner which you would ‘never’ respond) – try to look at life through their perspective.  Try give the credit for the unknowns in life.  Maybe their life is full of complications – and your one project or task isn’t the big picture.

This post is about letting our assumptions go of other people.  This post is about thinking better of people.  Instead of jumping to anger – try jumping to empathy.  Put yourself in someone else’s shoes today.  Going forward when someone upsets you – think of what’s going on in their life instead of jumping to anger and judgment. This is something we all could benefit from, myself included. I think the world would be a lot better place if we all changed our filter and took the focus off of ‘our ego’ and centered it on ‘what Christ wants us to see’.

Try it … and let me know what happens.

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Ok I admit it…

I’m an entertainment junkie. One of the last commenters, from my last post, got me thinking. What exactly are my vices?

When I was young and a lot wilder, it was having a good time. Now it’s watching other people doing it on TV. Well…not doing ‘it’. LOL! But watching those, who have a blast whether it’s in reality TV or having a blast perfecting their craft.

From the Bachelor to Grey’s Anatomy I have to DVR it to get my fill.

About a year ago, God started tapping my heart…asking me why I was spending so much time with something that wasn’t glorifying Him. It got me thinking – is it some form of Idol worship when you’re spending time in activity that is not promoting your faith? Just how much time should I be dedicating to sucking my brain dry in front of the boob tube? How can I honestly say to my son, “you can only have so much ‘media’ time”, and limit his video games/computer/movie time…when I don’t put limits on me?

Well about a year ago I started trimming the fat so to speak. I stopped recording some shows on the DVR. Instead of all the ABC soaps, I chose to eliminate one of the three. Now I’m up to one and a half. I say that b/c I really enjoy watching ‘General Hospital’, but ‘One Life to Life’ is getting so old and boring that I fast forward through the whole thing. I still see what happens, but don’t have to hear the same character repeating the same old crap. So, now guess what? I’m not going to record it either and move it to the non watching show category along with ‘All My Children’.

There are a few shows I stopped watching in the evening as well. So I’m doing much better in this category, but I’m sure if I let myself admit it, I could really let go of more. The few I can’t let go of at this point? American Idol (even though the name is gets to me – and not in a good way), Bachelor with Jason/Ty, Greys – because of it’s amazing acting and McSteamy, Burn Notice, and LOST.

What are your vices? Has God talked to you about them and have you started to let go of them?

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Off the grid

Okay so maybe some of you I’ve not posted much lately, as I’ve just not felt like it.

Yes, I’ve been in a slump … spiritually, emotionally, physically, and in every sense of the word.

But through prayer and some reality checks, I’ve come to some really great conclusions.

God has a lot in store for me…some exciting things actually. I just had to wait a little…okay a lot…longer than I’d care to in order to hopefully figure it all out.

I have some important meetings coming up that may provide exactly what I need in so many ways. The desired results from next week’s meeting could be the answer to so many issues in our lives at the moment.

So please put us in your prayers, as a family, and for me as an individual.

I thank you in advance and appreciate you all for allowing me some time away from blogging in the last couple of months.

I look forward to catching up with all of you and informing you of some great news soon!!!!

Love to you all —- Kim

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Saving it for Saturday

I didn’t get my blessings posted yesterday. Does anyone else thing that time just flies even more fast this time of year?

The traffic is heavier.
The crowds are thicker.
The mood is quickened.
The faces are tighter.
The money goes faster.

Does anyone else see any room for blessings here? The answer is a resounding yes! These are the times when we especially should be counting them.

Instead of being depressed because we don’t have the money to buy our loved ones what we ‘think’ they need or want…we should be joyous that we have them with us during this time. The only thing they really ‘need’ is to know that we love them. And throwing money at them doesn’t accomplish that. Our presence — not presents — does that.

Instead of being grouchy because everyone is in a foul mood, we should be excited to be that one person who can make a difference. Show your light from the inside and give it to everyone you meet…scrooges and all.

I had a table this week at the restaurant, who obviously was out to run up a large tab and then complain about the whole meal. They worked my manager for the entire tab and were determined to make me an unhappy camper. I would not submit! I gave them extremely pleasant service with a warm smile that reached all the way to my eyes and heart. I would not give them the control to change my demeanor. I knew God was blessing me that night with these people…I just didn’t know how.

Not until later…until after they left. I felt extreme pity for them and their attitudes to begin with, but them was humbled by all the other guests I had.

First and foremost, I blessed by my sweet husband and son coming in to sit in my section…with my son yelling ‘Mommmmeeeee I love you’ every time I walked by (and these grouchy guests got to see this as well). I bet it gave these guests a taste of what I was working hard for…to feed my child. So after they got their 90 dollar meal for free…they gave me 10 dollars as a tip. Woo Hoo big spenders…but they may have stiffed me if my precious son wasn’t there to give them a sense of humanity.

Secondly, after being triple sat three times in the night … every other table was so gracious and warm. They all knew how busy it was for the whole restaurant, let alone me having to care for up to 20 people all at once by myself. I got so many kind words of encouragement and sweet praises. These people truly were my blessings.

It’s as if God showed me — even though there are unfortunate people in this world, they’re still my children. Treat them all with love, as I would and I will bless you with the rest, who are kind and loving.

My husband, seeing how horrible this other table was, asked me, “Don’t you just hate having people like that sit in your station?”
My answer, “No, I’m so blessed with the rest that it doesn’t even phase me.”

God’s love is everywhere.

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Random Questions

Do you think people are aware, that wear things like this, that it’s not flattering?
p_6002210309206_985

Something tells me she’s seen Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants, and thinks every pair looks good on every woman.

I know how hard it is to find a pair of jeans that fits every size. This woman is not overweight!! Infact her curves would look quite nice in the right pair, but don’t you think when you put a pair on and skin falls over the edge of the waist … you’d know it’s not the right pair?

Ladies tell me — what guide system do you use when shopping for a pair of jeans? How do you know it’s the right fit? How do you know when to put the tight low riders down and walk away?

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A Foreclosure Hitting Close to Home

Today I have a heavy heart. My neighbors have had one bad thing happen to them and then another. They’ve fought through their finances to be able to afford their home for over a year. My neighbor’s wife now has to wear an oxygen tank, and she’s only in her 50’s. Even though they’ve been heavy smokers, who are aware of what cigarettes do to your body, I hate to see them deal with those repercussions.

Today my neighbor walked over to my car, as I pulled up in my driveway. I could tell he his spirit was not one of joy, like the usual guy I visit with when being neighborly.

He broke the news to me and told me of their situation. I know financial companies in today’s market are scrambling and will not give anyone a break. I know bail out or not, my neighbors will not get the help they need.

They’re going to be homeless in days, and I feel like crying. They’re so good to us and I just want them to have a roof over their head. Keeping up with the Jones’s has never been important to my husband and I, but something like this certainly puts that all into perspective.

Each night I pray a prayer of thanks for simply having a roof over our head, and food on our table. I never knew something like this would happen to someone I knew, and it’s heartbreaking.

I’m doing what I can to help them find a place to live, and in the meantime offering a couch and a guest room if they need it. Please pray for my wonderful neighbors that God provides them a way out and a place to live.

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Drinking Haze

When I was 16-18, I lived in Japan, where the legal age to drink was 18. Of course so was driving, so we could do two for the age of one. However, girls, as long they were American, could drink pretty much at any age. I remember a lot of 13 year olds having access to liquor. As long as they looked old enough, they could gain access.

Binge drinking in today’s society is worse than it’s ever been. I’m not saying I’m a saint, because I’ve had my day where I sowed my seeds. I think that’s why this subject is one close to my heart….b/c I had a serious under aged drinking problem, and point blank— the underage drinking on and off campuses is very much out of control today.

Tara, at If Mom says It’s Okay, posts on this very issue today at her blog. She raises some very good points, and I’d like to have your input. The Amethyst Initiative is trying to get the legal age of 21 lowered to 18 in efforts to curb underage drinking. I guess some may say this is a great idea, or a great effort to help solve a very dangerous problem….but won’t it just open the door for more under age drinking? Won’t it crack the door and widen the gap to those who are 14+ that can pass for 18?

Now I know most will say…’You have to have an ID to get liquor’….but come on people. You know girls and guys alike can get alcohol without ID in many many places. So is lowering the age limit a good idea?

Or should we put more educational programs out there?
…..enforce more laws?….
and crack down a little harder on schools, who don’t monitor this problem and punish their students….but instead offer to lower the age to 18?

I’d like to see what we can do to stop the problem or curb it at least without letting the door open to more underage legal drinking. That means more underage driving on the roads for those 16+ drivers…That means more friends influencing their peers to drink…because it’s ‘legal’ for them at 18 now….that means in essence more alcohol related deaths.

Haven’t we had enough of that already?