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Walk in Someone Else’s Shoes

Imagine you’ve got an opportunity to try something new, but are nervous about it.  Imagine you’ve got someone, a co-worker, who said they’ve accompany you or help mentor you, to bring you along.  And you’re counting on this person (lets call her Jane) to help you so you don’t have to do it alone.

Now imagine you’ve set a time/date to meet with Jane to go over the particulars, so you could get the lay of the land to help yourself visualize what it is you’ve got to get done — only to realize Jane has forgotten about you and will not be making your meeting.  Now you have to move forward with no direction and have no idea how to do it alone.

What’s your first reaction?  Anger? Disbelief at their lack of reliability?  Or … do you stop and remind yourself that the world is not all about YOU … and this person may have had unusual circumstances that gave them cause to forget or no show?

Now imagine that you’re out grocery shopping, and you see Jane shuffling down the aisle with a sick and aging person next to her side. She’s walking as slow as she can to help what looks to be a loved one down the aisle in one of those motorized carts.  Although you’re still upset with her for leaving you holding the weight of this ‘new project’ and leaving you feeling like you’ve been stranded with it, you know you can’t ignore her.  After all she’s seen you and smiled from across the freezer section.  You lift your arm in greeting, and make your way there.  After all … it’s where you were heading anyway – as you promised you’d pick up a pound of shrimp for your family.

“Hi,”  you offer and say nothing more.  You’re still judging her in your mind for not giving you the support you needed.

“Hi.  How’s the project going?” She sadly smiles.

Here’s where hopefully it dawns on you that she has a lot on her plate, and you can see the bigger picture with Jane and not judge her for the small window or piece of your experience about her that you’ve only seen from work.

“I could use some help.”  You say wondering if you have the right.

“I’m sorry.  I’d fully intended to help you along, but my mother’s health took a turn for the worse.  My father died last year, and she took a fall last week … about the same time you and I were supposed to meet.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Well, I’ve been distracted to say the least.  And I’ve got a lot on my plate … I didn’t want anyone at work to think anything less of my or jump to the conclusion that I couldn’t get it all done .. which is why I delegated that project to you.  I knew I couldn’t take care of her and work that project at the same time.”

________

I’m sure you can imagine the rest of the conversation … Jane is balancing trying to be everything to everyone and something just  had to give.  Unfortunately for you, her exit was bad timing for you and your new responsibilities.  So what’s the bottom line here?

Too many times in life, we put people in categories or stereotype them as flaky or unreliable, when maybe they’re just coping the best they can with the circumstances they’ve been given.  Instead of judging someone or being angry with how they respond (especially if its in a manner which you would ‘never’ respond) – try to look at life through their perspective.  Try give the credit for the unknowns in life.  Maybe their life is full of complications – and your one project or task isn’t the big picture.

This post is about letting our assumptions go of other people.  This post is about thinking better of people.  Instead of jumping to anger – try jumping to empathy.  Put yourself in someone else’s shoes today.  Going forward when someone upsets you – think of what’s going on in their life instead of jumping to anger and judgment. This is something we all could benefit from, myself included. I think the world would be a lot better place if we all changed our filter and took the focus off of ‘our ego’ and centered it on ‘what Christ wants us to see’.

Try it … and let me know what happens.

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After the Launch

This last weekend was the launch for COMING HOME, my third book.  I was amazed at how many people came in from from Kansas, Texas, and states across the nation.  Of course most were supporting from my home state of Oklahoma.  I’m so blessed to have the support I do.

It takes a lot of work to promote yourself, get your books out there, and get the momentum in sales.  There are so many other wonderful Indie authors out there, that your support means a lot to me.

Thank you to all of you who came out in support.  Thank you in advance to those that will go to amazon and read about my books … and take it one step further … purchase them in either kindle or paperback.  Here is my amazon page, which will list all my books to date.  Look for Saving Grace to come out next year.

 

Here are a few pictures from this weekend …

 

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I hope you’re able to take the time to pick up a copy and dive in yourself.  Enjoy…

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Friday’s Reflections

I pulled up to my house after dropping my son to school today, and noticed how gargantuan my flower bed is becoming.  In the last two years I’ve planted a few favorites here and there in small portions.  Some are ground cover that spread, and some are simple flowers that flourish.  I did not know that my soil was so rich as the only thing in this front bed, when I moved in, was big burly bushes that were horrendous.  They were prickly and bushy, and weren’t welcoming at all.  

I never dreamed that my simple ground cover and flowers would dig their roots in and take over, growing like mad!  Even my mother, who is technically a ‘master gardener’, is overwhelmed at the size of my little babies who’ve become montrousities in my garden.

It made me think about the human spirit and how planting such a little seed in such fertile soil can do amazing things.  Just like my flower garden, where I have to divide the plants out and replant in the back yard now, are the many people that started their faith with the littlest of seed and a lot of sun.  God uses that seed and His son, to grow their faith and use their talents.

God uses that fertile field to grow his people and their faith, to the point where they’re growing and reaching so far out that they touch so many other lives.  I know God is continuing to work on my faith.  

My biggest downfall is my laziness.  I know I get lazy sometimes and need to just simply listen and obey.  I visit the same issues with my son.  He has issues with simply listening and doing what is asked of him, instead of doing things his own way.  

I know how frustrated I get with my son, who fights my authority from time to time.  It’s normal for a 5 – 6 year old to find that balance and test his boundaries.  It makes me wonder how frustrated God must get with me sometimes when I get lazy.  

I pray today that He continues to work on me.  I pray He helps me get over myself and just do what is asked of me.  My biggest want is that he gives me the ability to plant the seed for his purposes in other’s lives through this blog and through my books.  

I pray that we all listen, and OBEY  to his call for our lives – because those are two different actions and are equally important.

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Ok I admit it…

I’m an entertainment junkie. One of the last commenters, from my last post, got me thinking. What exactly are my vices?

When I was young and a lot wilder, it was having a good time. Now it’s watching other people doing it on TV. Well…not doing ‘it’. LOL! But watching those, who have a blast whether it’s in reality TV or having a blast perfecting their craft.

From the Bachelor to Grey’s Anatomy I have to DVR it to get my fill.

About a year ago, God started tapping my heart…asking me why I was spending so much time with something that wasn’t glorifying Him. It got me thinking – is it some form of Idol worship when you’re spending time in activity that is not promoting your faith? Just how much time should I be dedicating to sucking my brain dry in front of the boob tube? How can I honestly say to my son, “you can only have so much ‘media’ time”, and limit his video games/computer/movie time…when I don’t put limits on me?

Well about a year ago I started trimming the fat so to speak. I stopped recording some shows on the DVR. Instead of all the ABC soaps, I chose to eliminate one of the three. Now I’m up to one and a half. I say that b/c I really enjoy watching ‘General Hospital’, but ‘One Life to Life’ is getting so old and boring that I fast forward through the whole thing. I still see what happens, but don’t have to hear the same character repeating the same old crap. So, now guess what? I’m not going to record it either and move it to the non watching show category along with ‘All My Children’.

There are a few shows I stopped watching in the evening as well. So I’m doing much better in this category, but I’m sure if I let myself admit it, I could really let go of more. The few I can’t let go of at this point? American Idol (even though the name is gets to me – and not in a good way), Bachelor with Jason/Ty, Greys – because of it’s amazing acting and McSteamy, Burn Notice, and LOST.

What are your vices? Has God talked to you about them and have you started to let go of them?

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Off the grid

Okay so maybe some of you I’ve not posted much lately, as I’ve just not felt like it.

Yes, I’ve been in a slump … spiritually, emotionally, physically, and in every sense of the word.

But through prayer and some reality checks, I’ve come to some really great conclusions.

God has a lot in store for me…some exciting things actually. I just had to wait a little…okay a lot…longer than I’d care to in order to hopefully figure it all out.

I have some important meetings coming up that may provide exactly what I need in so many ways. The desired results from next week’s meeting could be the answer to so many issues in our lives at the moment.

So please put us in your prayers, as a family, and for me as an individual.

I thank you in advance and appreciate you all for allowing me some time away from blogging in the last couple of months.

I look forward to catching up with all of you and informing you of some great news soon!!!!

Love to you all —- Kim

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Friday’s Blessings

So I got my shipment of books, from my publisher today, on my porch today…ahhh….I’m jumping up and down. My son already gave it his stamp of approval here, or at the sound clip below. I actually ordered one for myself, through Amazon, to see what their quality was like, and because my publisher said they picked up a copy through the print system that wasn’t proofed yet. Yikes!

The book has a few typo’s but what book doesn’t have a couple things that someone didn’t catch? Overall I’m happy, and very pleased to have worked with Vanilla Heart Publishing. They worked hard for me and the release of this book.

My son has carried one of the copies around all afternoon, and won’t put it down. He’s so proud of his mommy, and my heart is melting.

Today we also had a parent/teacher conference, which went exactly as I thought. My boy is sailing through with flying colors, ahead of the curve, and very well adjusted. He’s learning things that I would have in 3rd grade. It’s amazing how young they start kids out these days in their educational curve.

My mom and dad left for Hawaii, with my sister and her new husband to follow this weekend. They’re going to have a family trip together, and I couldn’t be happier for the four of them. I’m blessed they have this opportunity to share.

My husband & I had another date night this week to the OKC Thunder’s opening game NBA game. Our city is blessed with the opportunity to host such a major venue, and we’re blessed to have season tickets to such a fun event.

I was blessed to have Monday and Friday off this week. It was a short work week, but a tough one with little tips. This economy is hurting the ability to leave a little extra for those of us working for tips, but I know I’m blessed to be in a fun environment all the same.

My neighbors found a rental property to move into. Remember the post about how they lost their home to foreclosure? They were packing up their Uhaul today. I’m so sad to see them go, but am glad they’re not homeless and have been approved for a new place to live. Who knows? We may all lose our mortgages if the economy doesn’t start picking up. For now, I know we’re blessed to pay our mortgage each month, and pray that neighbors find the blessings in their situation.

Find your BLISS … Find your BLESSINGS … and Thank God daily for each one!

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A Foreclosure Hitting Close to Home

Today I have a heavy heart. My neighbors have had one bad thing happen to them and then another. They’ve fought through their finances to be able to afford their home for over a year. My neighbor’s wife now has to wear an oxygen tank, and she’s only in her 50’s. Even though they’ve been heavy smokers, who are aware of what cigarettes do to your body, I hate to see them deal with those repercussions.

Today my neighbor walked over to my car, as I pulled up in my driveway. I could tell he his spirit was not one of joy, like the usual guy I visit with when being neighborly.

He broke the news to me and told me of their situation. I know financial companies in today’s market are scrambling and will not give anyone a break. I know bail out or not, my neighbors will not get the help they need.

They’re going to be homeless in days, and I feel like crying. They’re so good to us and I just want them to have a roof over their head. Keeping up with the Jones’s has never been important to my husband and I, but something like this certainly puts that all into perspective.

Each night I pray a prayer of thanks for simply having a roof over our head, and food on our table. I never knew something like this would happen to someone I knew, and it’s heartbreaking.

I’m doing what I can to help them find a place to live, and in the meantime offering a couch and a guest room if they need it. Please pray for my wonderful neighbors that God provides them a way out and a place to live.