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Walk in Someone Else’s Shoes

Imagine you’ve got an opportunity to try something new, but are nervous about it.  Imagine you’ve got someone, a co-worker, who said they’ve accompany you or help mentor you, to bring you along.  And you’re counting on this person (lets call her Jane) to help you so you don’t have to do it alone.

Now imagine you’ve set a time/date to meet with Jane to go over the particulars, so you could get the lay of the land to help yourself visualize what it is you’ve got to get done — only to realize Jane has forgotten about you and will not be making your meeting.  Now you have to move forward with no direction and have no idea how to do it alone.

What’s your first reaction?  Anger? Disbelief at their lack of reliability?  Or … do you stop and remind yourself that the world is not all about YOU … and this person may have had unusual circumstances that gave them cause to forget or no show?

Now imagine that you’re out grocery shopping, and you see Jane shuffling down the aisle with a sick and aging person next to her side. She’s walking as slow as she can to help what looks to be a loved one down the aisle in one of those motorized carts.  Although you’re still upset with her for leaving you holding the weight of this ‘new project’ and leaving you feeling like you’ve been stranded with it, you know you can’t ignore her.  After all she’s seen you and smiled from across the freezer section.  You lift your arm in greeting, and make your way there.  After all … it’s where you were heading anyway – as you promised you’d pick up a pound of shrimp for your family.

“Hi,”  you offer and say nothing more.  You’re still judging her in your mind for not giving you the support you needed.

“Hi.  How’s the project going?” She sadly smiles.

Here’s where hopefully it dawns on you that she has a lot on her plate, and you can see the bigger picture with Jane and not judge her for the small window or piece of your experience about her that you’ve only seen from work.

“I could use some help.”  You say wondering if you have the right.

“I’m sorry.  I’d fully intended to help you along, but my mother’s health took a turn for the worse.  My father died last year, and she took a fall last week … about the same time you and I were supposed to meet.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Well, I’ve been distracted to say the least.  And I’ve got a lot on my plate … I didn’t want anyone at work to think anything less of my or jump to the conclusion that I couldn’t get it all done .. which is why I delegated that project to you.  I knew I couldn’t take care of her and work that project at the same time.”

________

I’m sure you can imagine the rest of the conversation … Jane is balancing trying to be everything to everyone and something just  had to give.  Unfortunately for you, her exit was bad timing for you and your new responsibilities.  So what’s the bottom line here?

Too many times in life, we put people in categories or stereotype them as flaky or unreliable, when maybe they’re just coping the best they can with the circumstances they’ve been given.  Instead of judging someone or being angry with how they respond (especially if its in a manner which you would ‘never’ respond) – try to look at life through their perspective.  Try give the credit for the unknowns in life.  Maybe their life is full of complications – and your one project or task isn’t the big picture.

This post is about letting our assumptions go of other people.  This post is about thinking better of people.  Instead of jumping to anger – try jumping to empathy.  Put yourself in someone else’s shoes today.  Going forward when someone upsets you – think of what’s going on in their life instead of jumping to anger and judgment. This is something we all could benefit from, myself included. I think the world would be a lot better place if we all changed our filter and took the focus off of ‘our ego’ and centered it on ‘what Christ wants us to see’.

Try it … and let me know what happens.

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Where You’ll Find Me …


For those that stop by from time to time … thank you. For those that are new … welcome.

I’ve not blogged here very often lately, as life has been very busy over the last couple years.  However, I’ve been more consistently writing here at my other blog.

Or if you are a twitter user, you can find me here.

I would still encourage you to stop by here, from time to time.  As I’m contemplating starting it back up, but for now the above links are where you’ll find me.

I

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My little sponge

I swear I never know what will come out of my son’s mouth these days.  It continues to amaze me just HOW much he soaks up and retains.  

For example, when the election took place, I was amazed at his emphatic passion for what was going on around him.  I try to never talk politics, as many out there do enough of it already for the majority of us.  I may put a little blurb on a blog here or there, but I’m not one of those people, who are loud with their policies/political beliefs.  

I especially did not tell my son who I felt would make a better President in this last election, as how could anyone know that or see the future?  I did tell him who I was voting for, because  he asked me, but would never run down the other candidate, as that’s not how I’m made.  PLUS why impose that on a five year old.  What I did give him was knowledge on the electoral process, and what the voting process looked like.  This was back in August of 2008 when he was asking about the whole concept of voting and how/why it worked.  If he’s old enough to ask, he’s old enough for the truth.

As the election came closer, he heard from his classmates their input on each candidate.  They even had a mock election, giving them choices to vote for Red or Blue.  Red, which stood for McCain, won that day in school.  He was excited that he chose the color that won.  I congratulated him on voting and left it at that, because it’s about his power to choose!  I was proud of him.

When Obama won the office of President, my son was sad.  The parents ideals and their philosophies had filtered down to their children and gave my son the impression that Obama equalled bad.  And he knew his parents had voted for McCain too.  I had to express to him that we respected the office of the President, no matter WHO held the office.  I had to share with him, that even though mommy didn’t vote for Obama, I was excited for the new era whether it was my choice candidate or not.  I told him that the exciting part about it is was the power of the American people, and their votes.

I wanted to give him hope that President Obama would make good choices on our behalf.  That’s my job as a parent to instill hope in my child … to lighten the big stuff … to keep him from being overwhelmed with things that he can not control.

His response?  (Keep in mind, he tells people he’s 4 and 3 quarters old when they ask his age – he’s a very specific kid)

“Mom, it doesn’t matter…because when I’m 9 and 3 quarters, we’ll vote again and have another President.”

I couldn’t believe that my ‘every four years we have an election‘ talk, FROM AUGUST was still retained in that little sponge of a brain in November.  

With my son, I tried to stay in the middle on this whole topic, because I don’t want to encourage discrimination for either party – Rep or Dem – because my husband and I aren’t straight party Repubs.  We look at each candidate as a potential selection based on their own policies and performance in office. BUT I let his comment stand on it’s own, because it was his opinion and I respected that.  I respect him for trying to formulate his own ideas and sticking to his guns.  For 5 almost 6 (5.75), he thinks so many big things through!! 

Today when my husband called to check on him, as we’re both home sick.  He ended his conversation with my DH….”Okay dad, work smart!”

I could tell my husband wasn’t sure of what he said, b/c he had to repeat himself….”you know…work smart while you’re there to make your money”  He’s a funny little kid with a big man’s mind.

I can’t believe in 9 short days, I’m going to have a 6 year old on my hands.  A wonderfully created, ingenius and funny, creative and highly social child, who loves with all his heart.  I only worry that he loves too much, BUT there’s no such thing as loving too much.

Have a great day all and thank God for all your blessings….especially your children!

 

Kim

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Off the grid

Okay so maybe some of you I’ve not posted much lately, as I’ve just not felt like it.

Yes, I’ve been in a slump … spiritually, emotionally, physically, and in every sense of the word.

But through prayer and some reality checks, I’ve come to some really great conclusions.

God has a lot in store for me…some exciting things actually. I just had to wait a little…okay a lot…longer than I’d care to in order to hopefully figure it all out.

I have some important meetings coming up that may provide exactly what I need in so many ways. The desired results from next week’s meeting could be the answer to so many issues in our lives at the moment.

So please put us in your prayers, as a family, and for me as an individual.

I thank you in advance and appreciate you all for allowing me some time away from blogging in the last couple of months.

I look forward to catching up with all of you and informing you of some great news soon!!!!

Love to you all —- Kim

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Sweet sweet Fridays…

This was a sweet week as I got to spend it all with my son. I’ve been so blessed to have such a special and unique child, who just brightens everyone’s day. He truly cares how I feel and wants to make sure I’m taken care of. He is a nurturer…a comedian…a math genius…a musician…and a strong Christian – all at five years old.

We were talking this morning after he called me into his room, after he woke up. We have our little word games we play. He likes to tease me.
“Mommy ask me any question.”
I’ll start asking random things, and no matter what I ask – the answer is ‘One Million’, said with certainty. We both crack up laughing and the game goes on.

This morning our chatter consisted of:
“Mommy, you have a husband.”
“Yes.”
“You have a daughter in law.”
“What? Since when did you get married?” (giggles ensue)
“Oh don’t worry mommy – she’s a good Christian girl.”
“What’s her name, and when do I meet her.”
“Twinkle Twinkle Little Star!”
“What? You’re being silly.”
“OF course! (he likes that word) I’m not married, I’m just a kid”
“You won’t get married until I’m a lot older?”
“When you’re in heaven?”
“Nooo, I will be here a lot longer. I won’t go to heaven until I’m really old.”
“Yah mom, you’re not gonna reach your deadline for while.”

My little sweet boy is all the blessing I need to be thankful to God for all He’s done for me. He’s growing up so fast and so strong. He wants to change the world and someday I know he will. God has big plans for that little guy.

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Amen it’s Friday

Wooooo Hoooooo! I’m so happy today that it’s finally Friday.

This week has been a very full long tiring one. I worked all the extra shifts I could get, including a double yesterday.
I was blessed with the extra cash to put toward Christmas. My aunt and her friend came in last night and left me more tip than what the total of their tab was. They are so sweet and wanted to leave me a little something…okay a lot something extra. It’s a good thing too, considering everyone else last night were realllllly realllllly stingy. The economy hits hard times and the first thing to go are good tips.

Today at the restaurant someone stopped me, while I was heading back to the kitchen, and asked, “Are you the writer?”
It threw me for a minute, but I answered, “Yes.” and she started to tell me how much she loved my book and how she couldn’t wait to read the sequel.

It’s been a huge blessing in the last few weeks to get the feedback I’ve been receiving. People really like it! Not that I doubted that, but you never really know (when you bare a part of yourself) how people are going to respond. The biggest surprise have been the men, who have jumped on board. I even had an email today from young man, whom I met for the first time at my book launch party, that wants to order 5 more of my books for Christmas gifts. I’m thanking the Lord for the path He’s created for this book. He’s giving it the somewhat success it deserves.

My little boy this week has been such a doll which has been a huge blessing. I just love that fact that he’s so endearing and funny. I’m so grateful that God has given me such an amazing child. We’ve played StarWars all week…in fact I’m quite light sabered out, but I’m fortunate that I’ve got such a creative child, who’s energy never ends.

OKAY YOU ALL — IF YOU’VE READ THIS FAR I’M STARTING SOMETHING NEW FOR CHRISTMAS!
VIRTUAL RE-GIFTING
You know we all re-gift, whether we admit it or not. So I’m starting a trend here. I’m going to take a picture of something I don’t need or want and I’m passing it on to one of my blogging buddies. They then have to take a picture of their re-gift items and pass it on to their buddies.

HERE IS MY PIC:
images
I get too many candles and always end up passing them on in real life, so now in blog land I’m passing some on to these friends, who then have to choose 5 of their friends to re-gift and ask to do some re-gifting of their own.

Congratulations to the following:

Terri my amazing friend and cohort, you get to post these lovely candles on your blog and then pass on your own re-gift item to more of your friends!

Tara, my sweet friend the same applies to you!

Tam Tam, bo Bam…banana nana fo fam! Love you chica – have fun with this!

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Finding Kylie Feedback From the Heart

My friend called me today with this voicemail. At first I thought something was seriously wrong and then I realized she was giving me feed back on the book.
I thought it was too sweet not to post:

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