Walk in Someone Else’s Shoes

Imagine you’ve got an opportunity to try something new, but are nervous about it.  Imagine you’ve got someone, a co-worker, who said they’ve accompany you or help mentor you, to bring you along.  And you’re counting on this person (lets call her Jane) to help you so you don’t have to do it alone.

Now imagine you’ve set a time/date to meet with Jane to go over the particulars, so you could get the lay of the land to help yourself visualize what it is you’ve got to get done — only to realize Jane has forgotten about you and will not be making your meeting.  Now you have to move forward with no direction and have no idea how to do it alone.

What’s your first reaction?  Anger? Disbelief at their lack of reliability?  Or … do you stop and remind yourself that the world is not all about YOU … and this person may have had unusual circumstances that gave them cause to forget or no show?

Now imagine that you’re out grocery shopping, and you see Jane shuffling down the aisle with a sick and aging person next to her side. She’s walking as slow as she can to help what looks to be a loved one down the aisle in one of those motorized carts.  Although you’re still upset with her for leaving you holding the weight of this ‘new project’ and leaving you feeling like you’ve been stranded with it, you know you can’t ignore her.  After all she’s seen you and smiled from across the freezer section.  You lift your arm in greeting, and make your way there.  After all … it’s where you were heading anyway – as you promised you’d pick up a pound of shrimp for your family.

“Hi,”  you offer and say nothing more.  You’re still judging her in your mind for not giving you the support you needed.

“Hi.  How’s the project going?” She sadly smiles.

Here’s where hopefully it dawns on you that she has a lot on her plate, and you can see the bigger picture with Jane and not judge her for the small window or piece of your experience about her that you’ve only seen from work.

“I could use some help.”  You say wondering if you have the right.

“I’m sorry.  I’d fully intended to help you along, but my mother’s health took a turn for the worse.  My father died last year, and she took a fall last week … about the same time you and I were supposed to meet.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Well, I’ve been distracted to say the least.  And I’ve got a lot on my plate … I didn’t want anyone at work to think anything less of my or jump to the conclusion that I couldn’t get it all done .. which is why I delegated that project to you.  I knew I couldn’t take care of her and work that project at the same time.”

________

I’m sure you can imagine the rest of the conversation … Jane is balancing trying to be everything to everyone and something just  had to give.  Unfortunately for you, her exit was bad timing for you and your new responsibilities.  So what’s the bottom line here?

Too many times in life, we put people in categories or stereotype them as flaky or unreliable, when maybe they’re just coping the best they can with the circumstances they’ve been given.  Instead of judging someone or being angry with how they respond (especially if its in a manner which you would ‘never’ respond) – try to look at life through their perspective.  Try give the credit for the unknowns in life.  Maybe their life is full of complications – and your one project or task isn’t the big picture.

This post is about letting our assumptions go of other people.  This post is about thinking better of people.  Instead of jumping to anger – try jumping to empathy.  Put yourself in someone else’s shoes today.  Going forward when someone upsets you – think of what’s going on in their life instead of jumping to anger and judgment. This is something we all could benefit from, myself included. I think the world would be a lot better place if we all changed our filter and took the focus off of ‘our ego’ and centered it on ‘what Christ wants us to see’.

Try it … and let me know what happens.

Friday Blessings

This week has been amazing.  God is always good and even through struggles it is easy to count the many blessings in life, however this week has been stellar.

 

Eight months ago, I was laid off from a great job when a new manager was brought in and she essentially became a hatch ‘wo’ man.  She picked us off one by one and broke down my whole team.  It wasn’t a scenario I would have put anyone in, as this lady (and I use that term loosely) used very underhanded tactics to fire away, including lying about her staff to get them fired.Each month, in the last 8 months, we’ve not known how we were going to make each month, but God miraculously provided in ways that left little doubt that He was in full control of our present and future.

Three weeks ago I got a call to come interview for an outstanding company, which is within the same industry I left.  After 8 months of closed doors, and basically being told through prayer to wait … and focus on my gifts … I felt a tap on my heart as this is what I was waiting on.

This backdrop leads into today’s post of my weekly blessings …

 

Blessing 1 — I got hired on Monday and start today.  And the position they offered me has amazing potential.  I expected one thing and God surpassed that by leaps and bounds.  

Blessing 2 — My son got an email this morning saying he made the debate team.  He’s not been very excited about school in the last few years, because he doesn’t get challenged – and to see him so over the top excited about being on the team made my heart burst with joy.  I’m so happy that God answered this prayer.

 

Blessing 3 — I am back in touch with a teacher from my school in Okinawa, who made a big impact on my life.  

 

Blessing — 4  This sunrise this morning letting me know how much God loves us:

 

sunrise

 

 

Hopefully you can recall a few of your own blessings from this week.  I’d love to hear them.

 

Fridays Full of Blessings

This week has been full of ups and downs.  It’s just been one of those weeks that you end up feeling so drained that you feel you’re long overdue for a vacation.  So when Friday finally rolled around, I felt like I’d been run over by a truck.

However, as worn as I am – it’s still easy to count my blessings:

1 – Although my cousin passed away, I’m blessed to know he lived a long life, surrounded by his loved ones.

2 – I received all my books in for the book launch. Screen Shot 2014-08-15 at 10.29.54 PM

3 – My son started school, and although wouldn’t smile for a first day pic (he gave me the most grouchy look he could muster) … he asked if he could retake it when I picked him up.  He said he felt bad all day for not giving me a smile on his first day of school.  I’ve got the sweetest kid.

4 – Since re-releasing my first book – I’ve seen some great reviews coming in.  This is my favorite so far:

Screen Shot 2014-08-15 at 10.27.26 PM

I love the words … ‘Anticipation at its sweetest.’   That is just great.

5 – I got called on to do the ice bucket challenge by a friend, and bravely stood as my hubs doused me with ice water.  It was frigid and about chilled me to the bone – but it was for a great cause so it was worth it.

6 – It’s Friday!!! I’m so happy to have the weekend with my family.

I hope you’re able to make your list.  No matter how tough your week has been – be sure to count your blessings.

Fridays Blessings Roll Call

My family has been going through some trying times, and although I won’t name what those are, it’s been a challenge to keep stress from creeping up and clutching my spirit.  The blessing in this is that it’s been a great learning lesson for my kid, as we’ve talked about letting our burdens go and letting God take control.

Last night he came to me saying he was stressed about this certain situation, and we talked about how big God is and how He’s always been faithful … so they’re is no reason to doubt that now.  We prayed together, which lifted both our spirits.  It was such a good bonding moment, and it allowed my child to see that we practice what we preach.  

That was the most amazing blessing this week.  Here are a few more:

 * a friend called me to apply for a job, which could be the answer to our prayers.

 * my son alerted me to some suspicious online behavior, which allowed me to call a parent to let them know their child was chatting with a stranger.  This stranger was a predator.  We were able to nip that in the bud to avoid any detrimental issues.

 * I packed up my son’s backpack for school, and found most of the school supplies needed I already had at home, which means I didn’t have to go buy hardly any.

 * I went through all the comments on Amazon about Facing Redemption, and left comments in reply to everyone who took time to leave a review.  I left a response to most everyone, even the people who left a not so savory review. (I understand that not every book is for everyone – so I’m never offended)  The blessing is that I read over 35 reviews from people who loved loved loved it and left such heartfelt kind words, which touched my heart.  The 5-7 who left not so nice comments were still a blessing as they were still inspired to leave a review, and I still appreciated their time.

*I’m blessed to wake up each day breathing and well, to a family which is doing the same.  

 

What are your blessings?

Friday Thanks

I’ve been laying around as much as possible today.  Last night, I lay in hotel in Tulsa with my mom and son anxious of what type of sleep the night might bring.  Hotels aren’t very conducive to sleep, and me & sleep aren’t exactly on the best of terms…especially without my mattress.

Why was I in Tulsa you ask?  I was scheduled to be interviewed for their morning show, during the 8 am hour this morning, so I took my mom and son on a short road trip.

Sleep didn’t come easy last night…in fact it didn’t come at all.  I think I would have been able to except that both persons in the room with me were not breathing well, due to the crud and it’s effects on their respiratory systems.  So I patiently lay between two noise makers all night, waiting…for sleep that eluded me until 3:00 am.  I finally fell asleep only to be woken up again by my mother turning the heat up in our room, which now made it a furnace inside.  Sleep never came back to me.

There were some upsides to this however.  I got to hear my son breathe all night, knowing he was still able to sleep through his sickness.  I was able to have some quiet time to myself, listening to all the noises around me.  Unusually so, I wasn’t frustrated like I normally would have been.  In times like this prior, I was furious that I couldn’t get sleep.   This time I was just thankful to be where I was, with my family.

Thursday night, we ate dinner with some family, who live in town…and a college friend, whom I’d not seen since 1994 – my friend, Leanna, who I’d lost touch with.  She was one of those girls, that I always missed and wondered where she was.  

Thanks to technology, like FaceBook, we caught up with one another again a week ago.  It was a great night to spend time with her and her new husband.  It was just like old times, minus the alcohol and wild parties.  Same girls … same personalities  … now with way different lifestyles and attitudes.  Life is good when you find your friends are friends again after all these years.  And it didn’t hurt that my son fell in love with her.  He even told her she was ‘hubba hubba’.

Yes, I have a lot to be thankful for this Friday.

If any of you are interested in seeing the interview, you can go here.  Click on ‘Author, Kim McKay’.  BUT please keep in mind that I had little to no sleep and I was having a hard time keeping my mind ‘with it’.  Have a great Friday and remember to count your blessings.

Faithful Fridays

This has been an amazing week for the little things…

I’m still somewhat unemployed. I had to leave the restaurant because it started causing some minor health problems, due to my little to no time to actually eat. You’d think working with food I’d get to do that…but no. So I’m in the process of trying to find a part time job that will allow me to work around my son’s school schedule, which has been more than challenging as most PT jobs want you to work nights and weekends. This is not when I can work as I have a child at home.

What’s good about that? Well – I’m completely and utterly reliant on God to 100% provide for us as I look for a PT job. And so far my photography business has given us enough to get by in the last month and a half. Whew! This is a big blessing. And I just got hired for another wedding for this summer. Jobs are consistently rolling in…

The weather has warmed up to reach the 60’s and even 70 today. This has given me spring fever and isn’t it wonderful to have a warm breeze in the middle of winter?

I got to spend some time with both my mom and dad, at separate times, yesterday and thoroughly enjoyed it. I don’t get to see them much anymore, and it was nice just to be in their presence.

I met with a pastor at church this week to go over some ideas for my sequel…as one part of it has a sermon involved in it. I need to know I’m on the right track, and it was a big blessing just to sit and have him impart his wisdom on me.

I got a phone call from the Mayor’s office today. He’s granted me a phone interview to discuss sequel. One of my characters in ‘Finding Kylie’, is Jesse Mikale, who is a former Mayor of OKC…turned economic developer. As I delve into more of his work side in the sequel, I’ll need some input from someone who has lived or is living that role. Who better than Mayor Mick Cornett? His office said his Chief of Staff would most likely be the one to visit with me, but imagine my surprise when they called me on my cell yesterday to say he was taking time to visit with me. I was humbled and grateful.

My son tickles my funny bone every day…there’s just too much to catalogue in his daily stand up. But you can get a glimpse of something here that made laugh till I cried – on Wednesday.

My son’s also very excited about Papa John’s new heart shaped Pizza. This will be an economic way I can give him something nice this year…with something he loves most…PIZZA served with love.papa_johns_heart_shaped_pizza_photo

Last but not least…I’m being blessed daily by comments left by readers of Finding Kylie. I’m blown away at what they’re taking away from it and what is left with them, from reading it. Thank you to all of you who have emailed me or left me comments on my blog.

Friday’s Favorite Blessings

download

This was my view on my drive to FOX’s studio yesterday. I felt so blessed to see such an amazing view, especially after 4 days of ice and snow. To see the sun again was amazing, and for it to be so beautiful was that and more.

Yesterday’s live interview went very well. I’m waiting for them to send me the broadcast so I can upload it and post it. Apparently it takes 2 weeks. That was a shocker in today’s digital age, but at least I’ll be getting a copy.

This week has been good. I’m finally on an anti-biotic that I think I can take with out a HUGE allergic reaction! Hallelujah! Shout and singing here… After a chronic bladder infection for over two months, with no help in sight, I visited an amazing urologist, who was very capable and pro-active. He prescribed a new antibiotic that I’ve never even heard of, that is in it’s own class … so far it’s working with little to no side effects and no allergic reactions. HUGE people…this is huge for me!

I found out, of course, from my last post you’d already know this … but I found out my humble book is ready for a screen play. After being contacted, by someone who shall remain nameless, I’m starting that as my next project while still getting my sequel done. This is amazing that someone in that industry read, loved, and wants it. It is a blessing 10 fold.

Last night I had a book signing at an Indie book store. With the ice storms that have hit us in Oklahoma pretty hard, I wasn’t sure of the turn out. My evites and verbal conformations had my attendance at possibly up to 35 people. After already having a launch party with 100 people streaming through, I knew 35 would be a great turn out. After all…who could still be left to come?? Overall, it was a pretty decent turn out considering the last four days people were home bound. The book store was happy, and most of my friends and family came to support me.

One of my newer friends, a classroom mommy friend as I call the ones I meet through school, had a funny story for me. She said her husband, who is a cardiologist, entered his exam room to see his patient, who was reading ‘Finding Kylie’. He thought it was cool to be able to point to her book and say, ‘She’s a friend of ours.’ That cracked me up. I love it that my friends are so excited for me. I try not to get too excited as I know it will sound as if I were getting a big ego, which I’m not. I know God has blessed me with every bit of this gift, and I’m completely thankful. BUT when my friends get excited, it revs me up and I know I’m one fortunate girl to have them in my life.

download-2

I’m fighting off the flu at the moment, but am blessed to have some time to me today to rest. And that may just be the biggest blessing at the moment. Time for peace and healing. I have a meeting today at 3 pm CST that is an important one, so if you all could be praying for me…I’d appreciate it.

Love to you all!!!