Walk in Someone Else’s Shoes

Imagine you’ve got an opportunity to try something new, but are nervous about it.  Imagine you’ve got someone, a co-worker, who said they’ve accompany you or help mentor you, to bring you along.  And you’re counting on this person (lets call her Jane) to help you so you don’t have to do it alone.

Now imagine you’ve set a time/date to meet with Jane to go over the particulars, so you could get the lay of the land to help yourself visualize what it is you’ve got to get done — only to realize Jane has forgotten about you and will not be making your meeting.  Now you have to move forward with no direction and have no idea how to do it alone.

What’s your first reaction?  Anger? Disbelief at their lack of reliability?  Or … do you stop and remind yourself that the world is not all about YOU … and this person may have had unusual circumstances that gave them cause to forget or no show?

Now imagine that you’re out grocery shopping, and you see Jane shuffling down the aisle with a sick and aging person next to her side. She’s walking as slow as she can to help what looks to be a loved one down the aisle in one of those motorized carts.  Although you’re still upset with her for leaving you holding the weight of this ‘new project’ and leaving you feeling like you’ve been stranded with it, you know you can’t ignore her.  After all she’s seen you and smiled from across the freezer section.  You lift your arm in greeting, and make your way there.  After all … it’s where you were heading anyway – as you promised you’d pick up a pound of shrimp for your family.

“Hi,”  you offer and say nothing more.  You’re still judging her in your mind for not giving you the support you needed.

“Hi.  How’s the project going?” She sadly smiles.

Here’s where hopefully it dawns on you that she has a lot on her plate, and you can see the bigger picture with Jane and not judge her for the small window or piece of your experience about her that you’ve only seen from work.

“I could use some help.”  You say wondering if you have the right.

“I’m sorry.  I’d fully intended to help you along, but my mother’s health took a turn for the worse.  My father died last year, and she took a fall last week … about the same time you and I were supposed to meet.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Well, I’ve been distracted to say the least.  And I’ve got a lot on my plate … I didn’t want anyone at work to think anything less of my or jump to the conclusion that I couldn’t get it all done .. which is why I delegated that project to you.  I knew I couldn’t take care of her and work that project at the same time.”

________

I’m sure you can imagine the rest of the conversation … Jane is balancing trying to be everything to everyone and something just  had to give.  Unfortunately for you, her exit was bad timing for you and your new responsibilities.  So what’s the bottom line here?

Too many times in life, we put people in categories or stereotype them as flaky or unreliable, when maybe they’re just coping the best they can with the circumstances they’ve been given.  Instead of judging someone or being angry with how they respond (especially if its in a manner which you would ‘never’ respond) – try to look at life through their perspective.  Try give the credit for the unknowns in life.  Maybe their life is full of complications – and your one project or task isn’t the big picture.

This post is about letting our assumptions go of other people.  This post is about thinking better of people.  Instead of jumping to anger – try jumping to empathy.  Put yourself in someone else’s shoes today.  Going forward when someone upsets you – think of what’s going on in their life instead of jumping to anger and judgment. This is something we all could benefit from, myself included. I think the world would be a lot better place if we all changed our filter and took the focus off of ‘our ego’ and centered it on ‘what Christ wants us to see’.

Try it … and let me know what happens.

Where You’ll Find Me …


For those that stop by from time to time … thank you. For those that are new … welcome.

I’ve not blogged here very often lately, as life has been very busy over the last couple years.  However, I’ve been more consistently writing here at my other blog.

Or if you are a twitter user, you can find me here.

I would still encourage you to stop by here, from time to time.  As I’m contemplating starting it back up, but for now the above links are where you’ll find me.

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Friday finds me allll gooood!

Thought I’d pop in here to post for once. I’ve not been able to just sit for a while and have a single thought to myself let alone have the time to do anything about them.

In the last 3 months, my life has turned upside down … but in a good way. You all know I’ve had to work a part time job to help contribute to our family’s finances. Smart girl that I was decided to up and quit a full time career in July of last year – right before the big recession hits. So my family, that was used to doing a little of whatever they wanted, while still feeling like we had no money … didn’t know what was going to hit.

We had enough to get by then – we just didn’t know it!

No we’re on a skimmed budget and running a tight ship. We refinanced our home, which saved us $150 a month.

I still have my own photography company, which is picking up by the way, and I still further my writing pursuits – but I’m working part time as a manager at a women’s boutique. This is why I’ve not had time to sit as I’m gone all the time, between photography shoots or my part time job. I’m never home to just have a second to myself. I haven’t even watched TV in almost a month (except ‘The Bachelorette’, which I DVR and watch late at night).

The good news? We’re making it – barely but surely.
The bad news? I’m not running on my own schedule and I have nothing left over to write – which means my sequel is taking a loooot longer than I’d hoped.

BUT – counting my blessings is still a must.

For example – Yesterday my brand new tire blew out on the highway. Not even seconds before I heard it pop, I was praying for God’s protection on the roads. It was as if the Holy Spirit was guiding me or prompting me to pray that particular prayer. Within seconds, the wall of my new tire was blown off and I was trying to get off the side of the highway.

The blessings are obvious to me. I’m thankful my car didn’t flip or slam into traffic. Two police officers showed up before my husband did to protect my car from the traffic from the highway. Because of these brave men, my husband had the protection he needed to change my tire. Otherwise traffic wouldn’t have allowed him to get down and change it without risking his life.

2 service men showed up from my dealership too. I’m blessed that we know the owner and he’s a gracious man, who takes care of us.

PLUS – I was late to work to close my store. WHICH was a HUGE blessing, as my district manager was in town and my tire escapade caused me to miss her visit. Hmmm? I don’t see a downside to this one.

Just wanted to pop in real quick to let you know that life is good! Even if I have to pay for a new tire – I’m healthy and in one piece. Can’t ask for more than that and I’m thankful to God for answering prayer!

Have a great weekend you all!
Kim

Here’s an example from one of my latest shoots this month. Westmoreland Ministries asked me to work with them for their upcoming tour. KP is a great guy, who has a true heart for God. Pray for him as he targets college campuses with the reality of his testimony.
Westmoreland Ministries

Friday’s Reflections

I pulled up to my house after dropping my son to school today, and noticed how gargantuan my flower bed is becoming.  In the last two years I’ve planted a few favorites here and there in small portions.  Some are ground cover that spread, and some are simple flowers that flourish.  I did not know that my soil was so rich as the only thing in this front bed, when I moved in, was big burly bushes that were horrendous.  They were prickly and bushy, and weren’t welcoming at all.  

I never dreamed that my simple ground cover and flowers would dig their roots in and take over, growing like mad!  Even my mother, who is technically a ‘master gardener’, is overwhelmed at the size of my little babies who’ve become montrousities in my garden.

It made me think about the human spirit and how planting such a little seed in such fertile soil can do amazing things.  Just like my flower garden, where I have to divide the plants out and replant in the back yard now, are the many people that started their faith with the littlest of seed and a lot of sun.  God uses that seed and His son, to grow their faith and use their talents.

God uses that fertile field to grow his people and their faith, to the point where they’re growing and reaching so far out that they touch so many other lives.  I know God is continuing to work on my faith.  

My biggest downfall is my laziness.  I know I get lazy sometimes and need to just simply listen and obey.  I visit the same issues with my son.  He has issues with simply listening and doing what is asked of him, instead of doing things his own way.  

I know how frustrated I get with my son, who fights my authority from time to time.  It’s normal for a 5 – 6 year old to find that balance and test his boundaries.  It makes me wonder how frustrated God must get with me sometimes when I get lazy.  

I pray today that He continues to work on me.  I pray He helps me get over myself and just do what is asked of me.  My biggest want is that he gives me the ability to plant the seed for his purposes in other’s lives through this blog and through my books.  

I pray that we all listen, and OBEY  to his call for our lives – because those are two different actions and are equally important.

My little sponge

I swear I never know what will come out of my son’s mouth these days.  It continues to amaze me just HOW much he soaks up and retains.  

For example, when the election took place, I was amazed at his emphatic passion for what was going on around him.  I try to never talk politics, as many out there do enough of it already for the majority of us.  I may put a little blurb on a blog here or there, but I’m not one of those people, who are loud with their policies/political beliefs.  

I especially did not tell my son who I felt would make a better President in this last election, as how could anyone know that or see the future?  I did tell him who I was voting for, because  he asked me, but would never run down the other candidate, as that’s not how I’m made.  PLUS why impose that on a five year old.  What I did give him was knowledge on the electoral process, and what the voting process looked like.  This was back in August of 2008 when he was asking about the whole concept of voting and how/why it worked.  If he’s old enough to ask, he’s old enough for the truth.

As the election came closer, he heard from his classmates their input on each candidate.  They even had a mock election, giving them choices to vote for Red or Blue.  Red, which stood for McCain, won that day in school.  He was excited that he chose the color that won.  I congratulated him on voting and left it at that, because it’s about his power to choose!  I was proud of him.

When Obama won the office of President, my son was sad.  The parents ideals and their philosophies had filtered down to their children and gave my son the impression that Obama equalled bad.  And he knew his parents had voted for McCain too.  I had to express to him that we respected the office of the President, no matter WHO held the office.  I had to share with him, that even though mommy didn’t vote for Obama, I was excited for the new era whether it was my choice candidate or not.  I told him that the exciting part about it is was the power of the American people, and their votes.

I wanted to give him hope that President Obama would make good choices on our behalf.  That’s my job as a parent to instill hope in my child … to lighten the big stuff … to keep him from being overwhelmed with things that he can not control.

His response?  (Keep in mind, he tells people he’s 4 and 3 quarters old when they ask his age – he’s a very specific kid)

“Mom, it doesn’t matter…because when I’m 9 and 3 quarters, we’ll vote again and have another President.”

I couldn’t believe that my ‘every four years we have an election‘ talk, FROM AUGUST was still retained in that little sponge of a brain in November.  

With my son, I tried to stay in the middle on this whole topic, because I don’t want to encourage discrimination for either party – Rep or Dem – because my husband and I aren’t straight party Repubs.  We look at each candidate as a potential selection based on their own policies and performance in office. BUT I let his comment stand on it’s own, because it was his opinion and I respected that.  I respect him for trying to formulate his own ideas and sticking to his guns.  For 5 almost 6 (5.75), he thinks so many big things through!! 

Today when my husband called to check on him, as we’re both home sick.  He ended his conversation with my DH….”Okay dad, work smart!”

I could tell my husband wasn’t sure of what he said, b/c he had to repeat himself….”you know…work smart while you’re there to make your money”  He’s a funny little kid with a big man’s mind.

I can’t believe in 9 short days, I’m going to have a 6 year old on my hands.  A wonderfully created, ingenius and funny, creative and highly social child, who loves with all his heart.  I only worry that he loves too much, BUT there’s no such thing as loving too much.

Have a great day all and thank God for all your blessings….especially your children!

 

Kim

Faithful Fridays

This has been an amazing week for the little things…

I’m still somewhat unemployed. I had to leave the restaurant because it started causing some minor health problems, due to my little to no time to actually eat. You’d think working with food I’d get to do that…but no. So I’m in the process of trying to find a part time job that will allow me to work around my son’s school schedule, which has been more than challenging as most PT jobs want you to work nights and weekends. This is not when I can work as I have a child at home.

What’s good about that? Well – I’m completely and utterly reliant on God to 100% provide for us as I look for a PT job. And so far my photography business has given us enough to get by in the last month and a half. Whew! This is a big blessing. And I just got hired for another wedding for this summer. Jobs are consistently rolling in…

The weather has warmed up to reach the 60’s and even 70 today. This has given me spring fever and isn’t it wonderful to have a warm breeze in the middle of winter?

I got to spend some time with both my mom and dad, at separate times, yesterday and thoroughly enjoyed it. I don’t get to see them much anymore, and it was nice just to be in their presence.

I met with a pastor at church this week to go over some ideas for my sequel…as one part of it has a sermon involved in it. I need to know I’m on the right track, and it was a big blessing just to sit and have him impart his wisdom on me.

I got a phone call from the Mayor’s office today. He’s granted me a phone interview to discuss sequel. One of my characters in ‘Finding Kylie’, is Jesse Mikale, who is a former Mayor of OKC…turned economic developer. As I delve into more of his work side in the sequel, I’ll need some input from someone who has lived or is living that role. Who better than Mayor Mick Cornett? His office said his Chief of Staff would most likely be the one to visit with me, but imagine my surprise when they called me on my cell yesterday to say he was taking time to visit with me. I was humbled and grateful.

My son tickles my funny bone every day…there’s just too much to catalogue in his daily stand up. But you can get a glimpse of something here that made laugh till I cried – on Wednesday.

My son’s also very excited about Papa John’s new heart shaped Pizza. This will be an economic way I can give him something nice this year…with something he loves most…PIZZA served with love.papa_johns_heart_shaped_pizza_photo

Last but not least…I’m being blessed daily by comments left by readers of Finding Kylie. I’m blown away at what they’re taking away from it and what is left with them, from reading it. Thank you to all of you who have emailed me or left me comments on my blog.